Recently, in a way, I became forced into thinking about seagulls tieing up parking spots in the parking lots of various Walmart locations, mostly ones near the coast.

Did you ever walk out of a Walmart and see a seagull standing there in the disabled parking space, smoking a cigarette and in shock as his car had been stolen?

What if I told you his car was never stolen. In fact, his car was towed. He was parked illegally you see. He didn't have one of those blue passes with the wheel chair guy on it so instead he hung a pack of blue Trident gum on the rear view mirror in hopes to pass it off as a legit pass. Imagine how hard it must be for a seagull to hang a gum packet off a rear view mirror; one of the old mostly paper ones, not the new slidy ones with the plastic slots encased with foil. What is more shocking, the seagull didn't own the car that was stolen. He had recently found the car left running at a window wash station at a near by Wilson's Gas Stop... Now imagine the gum he hung in the rear view wasn't his either. You see where this is headed.

You might assume this to be a rude seagull. I am not sure if he was rude or just unaware of the consequences of human interaction outside of begging for french fries and fish guts down at the wharf.

Ever see a seagull take down a Quarter Pounder with cheese in one nip? Salty fries? Melted chocolate shake? No you didn't....seagulls hate melted chocolate. It looks too much like baby poo. They are put off by it. Besides, most seagulls are lactose intolerant.

Imagine the life of a seagull. Flying in, making a lot of noise, shitting on everyone and leaving. I bet we all know a few seagulls, don't we?